# 48 Bento on the plate - little girl

Month end was always a busy time.  There's also a project going on and makes me even busier. I'm glad I'm able to post this now. I don't really have the mood after the closing till now.  The month end weekend, little boy was sick with vomiting due to stomach flu.  I was busy the full day wiping, cleaning, cooking porridge, feeding him, checking his temperature as he has fever too.  I brought him, carrying him, 15kg now, to a nearby clinic.  I was all alone. He's very heavy to me now.. I can't really carry him when we came back then, as I've to walk up the slope. 

I felt pain looking at him vomiting still after taking the medicine.  He was also complaining pain and sick.  I tried to feed him probiotic but he vomited that too.. It's like full noon till almost night time, he has been very weak and feverish.  Only at night, he was better and I felt better then. 

During the noon time, I felt that sad feeling again... handling things alone, as if nobody wanted me.  It happened long ago, after my first child... maybe that is called depression stage?  I was alone too handling my first born during the weekends.  My mom doesn't wish to see my little baby then at home as she had already taken care of her during the weekdays.  So me and my little baby then stayed home alone.  Being a first time mother is not easy and worst still alone at home handling everything myself.  Maybe because of that, every time when I handle my kids alone, especially when they are sick, I feel very down. That 'not wanted / not being loved' kind of feelings haunt me again. 

I just need that care and love from someone, but nobody is around :(  it gets worst when not treated.  I will feel like even ending my life.  It was only treated when someone hug and kissed me, of course that has to come from my love ones!  :)   Also turning to the bible... which I've not been looking at it for some time.  I told myself I have to go back there to dig the treasure.. for peace of mind

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5,6

So today only am posting this... bento on the plate with rice, peas on the pod, capsicums, carrots, chicken.

Life is simple

Proverbs 3:5-6 

Trust in The Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight. 

Amen

Yesterday, I pretended I was Honey and did something that I've never done before. Fixing the washrooms light for the first time. I feel great being like a guy, able to do this things myself .... Maybe one day I don't need a man at all lol 

Suddenly I found a photo of mine that resembles like Honey!! which was done quite some time ago ... I've already had this in my mind, I think... short hair cut, ride a bike, be freeeeeeeeeee to venture! vrrooomm vrooommmm!

Life is simple but human being makes it complicated....ya cos we are not God. The beauty of being on this stage, when you are up here and when  you look down, you will be stunned by the monumental amount of strengths you have gone through to conquer the problems below.... However going through all those experiences in your life... You should be able to know how to live your life ... Just be simple. 

I came across this and feel grateful for such an invention!  Gotta support this! 

http://www.theoceancleanup.com/

Things happened for a reason

I always believed .. things happened for a reason.  We need to hold on to our hope.. we need to hold on to our faith.  With hope and faith, we can be what we want to be in our life... It needs a bit of patience.  We are being tested for our life.  We just need to pass through the test...